Why Can't Republicans Be More Like Democrats?

All week long I have been hearing or reading about the College Republican Committee Report and the "misconceptions" about the Republican party. I like that they used the word "misconceptions" because "conception" is always lurking somewhere in a conversation about Republicans.
"[The] Republican Party has won the youth vote before and can absolutely win it again,” the report says, pointing to presidents Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush who were competitive with that demographic."
Lets see, Reagan ran for president over 30 years ago and Bush over 10 years ago, making their demographic pretty damn old and hopefiully dying out.
When you have people like this running your party

or this

it's surprising to me that anyone votes for these assholes. Seriously, I think I vote for Democrats out of spite because it's pretty obvious they don't give a shit about us either. 
I can't imagine why young people, or anyone really, would think that the Republican Party is hostile to women, immigrants, birth control, abortion, just  name it, they're hostile and they have created a pretty hostile environment for themselves. 
When the focus group of young adults was asked what was important to them they answered:
• "everyone in America should have access to health coverage"
• "reducing big government" does not make sense as a policy goal
• there is a difference between "fixing" and "reducing" the national debt
• gays should be allowed to get married
• "we are spending way too much time fighting other countries' wars"
• "taxes should go up on the wealthy"

It doesn't matter how you market yourself, when your "tone" makes war on every minority in the US, except the 1%. The party of old white guys is over. As a matter of fact, in the grocery store yesterday an old white guy was standing in front of all the beef and chicken and pork that he couldn't afford to buy, marveling at the prices and complaining that no one can afford to eat anymore. Hey Taker! Republicans say you can eat cake!

How are Republicans going to make themselves more "appealing" to anyone, let alone young people? Most of the young people and old people I know won't even vote, for ANYONE, because they know that corporations ARE people, they own politics. Corporations matter more than the quality of life for most Americans. Both parties are guilty of pushing corporate agendas before the American people.

When most Americans think that "everyone in America should have access to health coverage," one can only deduce that the reason every American does not have access to healthcare coverage, is because the health insurance corporations don't want you to. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure that out.

 All week long, all I heard was that the Republican Party needed to change their "tone" and rebrand their "brand." Marketing will only go so far, because there will always be dumbass's that will buy bullshit. But you can only fool some of the people some of the time. Thanks to the internet and more information being widely available, people are wising up. 
The biggest problem I see is more than The Grand Old Puritans being tone deaf, it's the fact that most Americans don't and won't vote because they know BOTH parties are owned by corporations.
Not to mention the fact that no one mentions, is the stain George W. Bush left behind that will last for generations. The Democratic Party has an opportunity to remind those that do vote in every single election of the tragedy that Republicans have brought to this country and all over the world. No amount of scrubbing is going to wipe that mess clean. How convenient is it that these elephants seem to forget? Reagan, Nixon, Bush, WTF is it with Republicans? Looks like the GOP is SOL.