Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Nope To The Pope and No To Nuns

Just when you think people can't get any more delusional. I see this turn out for the Pope in Ireland. Who the hell would go and see this criminal, covering up for pedophiles and abusers?
Telling people "WE showed no care for the little ones"  (We?)
I read online in some of my groups that people were buying up tickets and planning not to go see the Pope in protest.
It was Nope to the Pope.
On the heels of the American sexual abuse scandal, by Catholic priests, in Pennsylvania. Followed by an expose in Buzzfeed about the horrendous torture and abuse children suffered in Catholic orphanages, I am surprised this pointy hat wearing dude thinks he's welcome anywhere.
Because I have personal knowledge of what went on in an orphanage in Brooklyn, over 100 years ago.
My grandmothers parents came over in the late 1800's from Ireland, hoping for a better life.
What could possibly go wrong?
My great grandparents pro-created like good Catholics should, and tried to eke out a sort of existence in Brooklyn, where the Irish weren't wanted.
 My grandmother was the seventh daughter, of a seventh daughter.
It turns out, my poverty stricken great grand parents, could not afford to keep my
My Nana
grandmother, and they gave her to a Catholic orphanage in Brooklyn.
I don't know what the name of it was or if any of her other brothers and sisters were given away, because my Nana never mentioned any siblings there with her. This was the start of her trauma filled childhood, where she was expected to work for her keep, scrubbing floors and cleaning and being physically abused.
She never mentioned any sexual abuse.
I doubt she would ever speak of such a thing.
She did tell us that she scrubbed floors until her fingers bled. She would cry often about her treatment by the nuns. Up until she was very elderly, her childhood experiences affected her. In turn it affected us.
 Because it's traumatic for children to hear of this kind of abuse, that happened to a beloved grandmother.
 Then you are rounded up and expected to give thanks and be a good Catholic every Sunday.
My Nana, isn't here to see how the church has been exposed for it's atrocities. So, I will bear witness for her. She is just one of many. I will never truly know the entire story of what happened to her.
 To have to suffer, well into your old age because of the trauma my Nana endured, is just heartbreaking. For all I know, she saw children thrown out of windows, like in the Buzzfeed piece above. She probably saw a lot and was told by her abusers not to say anything.
After all, who would believe her?
After my Nana, at the turn of the century, we get to the swinging 60's.
My story with the Catholic church begins.
Corporal punishment was doled out liberally both at school and at home. Nuns really liked using rulers, and they used them on me, for any kind of infraction. My parents didn't care and when the notes from the nuns started coming home about my not being able to learn like other students, well let the beatings begin.
So, I would get it from both fronts. The nuns and at home.
Every note, another beating. Every Sunday go to church.
 When you could barely sit down from the punishment you got from the dreaded nuns notes.
There was no such thing as a learning disability in those days. You were just being lazy.
After a year of this torture, the nuns at the Catholic school, ironically, it was called, St. Francis, my mother told me the nuns no longer wanted me there, and I had to be enrolled in public school.
Sadly, it would not be until I went to college and studied art, to have my first positive experience in education. I hated school my whole young life. I didn't even think I was smart enough for college for a long time.
I graduated with honors, no thanks to my first grade abusers. (The abuse didn't end there, but that is for another blog)
Through the years, we were marched to the Catholic church I hated.
Forced to confess our sins, trying to sit still, in those uncomfortable pews.
Until one Sunday, a funny thing happened.
 My Dad didn't go up and take communion!
I was in a state of shock!
When I asked my mother, she told me my Dad was "not in a state of grace."
This was very big news, how could that be?
I'll tell you how, because I pestered my mother to explain why Dad could shun communion, but the rest of us had to play along with this whole charade.
She finally had to break down and tell me that my Dad, or the both of them, (not sure which ) was using birth control.
They had 5 kids.
It's not like today, when you plan your pregnancies. (if you have any sort of intelligence)
You just kept churning out babies back then, like you were going to need a bunch of kids working as farm hands. Which is what happened in my family.
My Aunt and my Mom were in some kind of baby making competition, each of them having 5 and one year the babies were born one day apart. But, I digress.
My parents were already finding it hard to go along with these ridiculous medieval rules.
That day, I found out a few things.
There was such a thing as birth control and I could set myself free of the Catholic church.
I told my Mom I was never going back there and I never did.
I was fourteen years old, and well on my way to being the family scandal, scapegoat, whatever you want to call it.
Fast forward, to 2005, my mother had passed away in 2003, and my Dad was ready to remarry.
 Oddly enough, he didn't get remarried in the Catholic church he forced us all to go to.
 My sister was so scandalized, I guess out of some weird Catholic catechism dogma, she thought Dad was disrespecting mom by remarrying so quick, she cried and carried on to no avail.
Dad had found a new religion and left Catholicism behind.
 His new wife was Lutheran and he adopted her religion, which was a bit perplexing, since, I thought being a Catholic was, so important.
You can't make this stuff up!
 I like to think we have evolved from the church's vice like grip, at least where my Dad's concerned. However, the reckoning for the church, is not here yet.
The Pope needs to take his show and go away.
Even my Dad has left him in the dust.
In memory of my grandmother O'Leary, I write her story, today. As she was never able to.
 Also, testimony of my own abuse, which is nothing compared to the sexual abuse and murder the church has just begun to acknowledge.
If there really is a hell, there's quite a few religious freaks already burning and more to follow.
May God have mercy on their souls, because I don't have any.
                                                   
                                                  Thank you Sinead, for your bravery.

3 comments:

  1. OMG (no pun intended), Patricia ... what a story, indeed! Reminds me of some of childhood and what I thought and seen. I figured you were Irish, some. Had familia migrate to Brooklyn?, I had familia in Brooklyn, lived there some as a kid too, Flatbush and upstate in Buffalo ... but my entire familia is from that area, I am the only one who came to Texas (and I got here as fast as I could {:-), some moved to southern California and LA area, including mom and dad, some went to Miami, and had some in Erie, PA. My familia had a mix of English, Jewish, Danish, and Italian ... I'm basically a "mutt", however, my name is from my grandpa, dad, and great grandpa, I am the forth Thomas Hudson Pickering, originally out of England. I hated school too, only completed 8th grade, got a GED later in Texas, and barely passed. I was a street kid and left home at 14. I went to a catholic school for a year up there, it had to do with honour and my mom's familia kind of thing. To make it short, I was expelled from school and church ... I joined to be an altar boy, to make money serving funerals and wedding (I was a hustling kid, alwayz hustling the streets, shining shoes, running contraband, or whatever would make a buck). I stole the collections money from the church (the whole pot), and a sizable amount at that. When I got caught, I got locked up in juvenile facility, got in more trouble in there. I used to also steal the wine out of the sanctuary and turn kids in school onto it, I also stole the hosts that they give for communion to snack on, and altar boy got scared and ratted on me basically. Altar boys would get scared and tell me it's sinful to drink the wine, eat hosts, etc ... I told them "it hadnt been blessed/ consecrated yet" ... it was a large bottles and bags stored in the sanctuary. I never was abused by a priest, but I was a kid that they probably would have hesitated to, because I was a little on the edge too. My familia was appalled and embarrassed of what I done, and done everything to cover it up, kids told me that they couldnt even be seen with me, or their parents would punish them ... I felt emotionally sad, because of it. I loved my parents, they were NEVER abusive to me, or very religious, but to be honest, as a kid, I was a parents worst nightmare. I'm just being honest with you, because you opened up about yourself, I'm not proud of what I did, I just was kind of wild I guess, didnt listen to parents, teachers, priests or anyone hardly, only street people, and the worst considered of society, and got locked up a few times. I remember nuns and the ruler hitting on the hands, the nuns were teachers in the school and wore the habit and gown coverings, I didnt get hit, but I would have ran from them, if I seen they would try to, or maybe hit them back ... I was not a good kid Patricia. The best decision I ever made (as odd as this may sound) is coming to Texas, it changed my life and taught me, right from wrong I guess, to an extent ... my whole life changed. I'm just being honest with you ... I appreciate you telling your story, Thank You. I done a posting on this, I added below here. Have a good one.


    http://ranchchimpjournal.blogspot.com/2018/08/catholic-church-sex-abuse-report.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh cool. Maybe we should start a blog called Confessions of an Ex-Catholic! I totally would have had a swig of that wine, stolen and not blessed. Thank God you were too badass to be abused, those were dangerous times. One of the reasons I am glad to be alive now is that people, if they care to pay attention can find out we have been hoodwinked and fooled. Time to stop with these worn out old institutions. I have a cousin who lives in Texas and I meet a bunch of people online that say how great it is there. I would probably love Austin or anywhere there's music. Good to see I have a friend from Brooklyn and an altar boy, Lol I probably would have been one too, but no girls allowed. Think I am glad about that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Confessions of an Ex- Catholic"? ... heh, heh, heh, heh, heh {:-) ... Hell, Patricia ... be a good title for you to make a song about, put some of your guitar music to it! {:-) I really never considered my self to be catholic or an altar boy I guess, to be honest, I only tried to get to be an altar boy, because my buddies Philly Fumanti & Bobby Gavazzo were altar boys, told me how much the tips from families were for wedding and funerals ... my eyes lit up with $$$$, so I told them I want in. Yeah Patricia, Texas is really alright, regardless of the talk some may hear up north, I really like it, and especially the land mass and different terrains, coast and all. Austin is really great for music/ arts, yes. I live in Dallas, it is very spraed out as far as layout, similar to LA, but smaller, just really spread out all over. My favourite places I guess, because I like more moderate winters too, are Texas, and I like the LA area/ SoCal and South Florida/ Miami alot. But yep, it gets hot here in the summer ... I was just our getting my morning exercise, while it is still in the 70's ... because at about 4pm, it will be in the upper 90's to 100, I'm kind of used to it I guess. We'll start a cool down about 3rd week of september, and the first hard freeze in november, very little snow up here, and some ice in the winter. Hey Patricia, if you ever are this way, please look me up, I will show you around Dallas! ... Later

      Delete