Sunday, June 3, 2012

The Darwin Award

If only a pastor around here would handle some snakes for Sunday services, I might actually go back to church for that kind of free entertainment! "Serpent Pastor" Mack Wolford died, May 31, from handling his "pet" snake.
Here's irony for you, his pastor father died of the same thing. Proving once and for all that religious fanatics are batshit crazy. If this kind of excitement went on in the Catholic church, I would be there this morning. Fortunately for me, Catholic priests are only interested in mainly helpless male children, which kind of makes me think Pastor Mack was probably a better person than a lot of priests. He only abused snakes. I would like to nominate Pastor Mack for the Darwin Award. The best part about the award is, since you refuse to evolve, evolution will bite you in the, well, thigh. There's more irony here, since you damn well know the "Serpent Pastor" did not believe in evolution. "Praise the Lord and past the rattlesnakes" was one of his last posts on Facebook. I sure hope during this devotional service he conducted in a state park, he collected a lot of donations. He performed a valuable service to us all. First and foremost, rattlesnakes are not "pets". Most rational people would know this, but Pastor Mack referred to his snake as a "pet". I think more religious fanatics should employ the use of poisonous vipers in their repertoire, I also like the idea of scorpions, but dammit, they are just not poisonous enough. Through the judicious use of poisonous snakes we could effectively wipe out the Evangelicals. Think of it! No more crying about free birth control or what goes on at a Planned Parenthood clinic. Republicans might have to act like rational, logical legislators, and think about actual legislation and a real separation between church and state. Talk about finding a new religion! I wish more religious fanatics would embrace the use of snakes. I think Charles Darwin would approve.

1 comment:

  1. You'll enjoy this:

    Get Right With God - Lucinda Williams